Never mind the horse, the birds are out of the barn
I’ve concluded that nature is an ingrate. You drag sprinklers around in the hot sun, spray water (i.e., money) all over the lawn, and end up with weeds and crabgrass. Now, after feeding flying freeloaders (birds) all my life, they’re invading my space. They remind me of cable TV salespeople: Give them an inch and they’ll take a country mile.
The invaders we’re dealing with are barn swallows. The one below is European; the American variety has slightly different plumage. They help keep the bug population down but have the unfortunate habit of nesting in or under the eaves of sheds, barns, bridges, and houses, including mine.
My wife and I saw them swooping around the yard and thought, “How cool!” until we realized they were setting up nestkeeping atop one of the columns on the front porch. The crime was compounded by their choice of building material, which instead of twigs and grass is mostly mud.
Though we truly love birds, we don’t need dirt and uh, excretions on our porch, nor do we want mama swallow dive-bombing us every time we open the door. So before they could lay any eggs, I went out with a hose and washed everything away. By morning they’d reconstructed, so I had to do it again.
If this doesn’t work, the next step is some safe bird repellent. Of course, we’ll have to be sure the delivery person doesn’t get mugged by the interlopers: “Please leave package on front porch. Wear helmet, face shield, and running shoes.” I’m also going to learn everything I can about these critters so I don’t end up like the geezer in the video below.
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Originally published at http://davesswan.wordpress.com on May 30, 2021.
